Throwing our arms open wide...

Monday, May 6, 2013

A Literal Miracle!!!!!

I am so in awe....

today was the start of a long week of hospital appointments for the kids.

A week that I thought would be grueling has me hardly able to take a breath and feeling like I am floating on air!

Some of you may remember that last year we walked through a nightmare....

thinking our son was going to lose his vision,

then finding out he had Albinism and low vision.

The things we were told:

* He had at best 20/50 vision (with glasses)

* It was anatomically impossible for it to ever improve (he was literally born without a fovea in either eye so his eyes would NEVER be able to focus better)

* He may never be able to drive

* He would need special dark pencils, classroom aid equipment etc. because he REALLY struggled with low contrast stuff

* He could not do any sports where a ball or object was coming at him

* It may not be safe for him to ride a bike much longer

We were SO excited that he would still have some vision and amazed at God's grace in that.

We started appointments with the Low Vision Clinic,

added a second pair of 'desk' glasses for up close work,

added a 'powerdome' to help him read,

added an Android tablet to help him make letters bigger....

all of these things were helping alot but we knew down the road he would probably need more help in the classroom.

So today we had our scheduled Low Vision Clinic meeting to run tests and see where we were at....

The doctor started testing....

and he kept saying, "are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

I kept nodding my head as I wiped away tears....

That anatomically impossible deal?

* He is now seeing 20/25 (with glasses)!!!

* He is seeing completely 'normal' in low contrast stuff....

* The doctor said, "I cannot even call him 'low vision' anymore....because he isn't!"

* His vision is completely in the NORMAL range in all categories!!!!!

* The doctor said that he has "no explanation" for the progress...

* We have been discharged from the Low Vision Clinic and never have to go there again!!!!!!!

I am stunned and the tears just keep coming....

For some reason God has chosen to return sight to my little guy...He has heard our cries.

I will never, EVER forget watching Parker leap down the Doernbecher hallways singing, "I'm a miracle!" to everyone who passed him by.

Praising God with all my heart!!!!!

Linking this up to Memorial Box Monday...you just have to go and Read Miss Ruby's miracle too!

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2013/05/rubys-miracle-continues-memorial-box.html

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Getting Rosie Ready :)

Plans are in full swing here to step into our next adventure...

moving into our trailer and seeing what it is like to live with little but love and whole lot!

We are excited to see what the Lord has in store for us!

This last weekend was one of lots of elbow grease

Here's Miss Rosie at the beginning of the day

Doug did TONS of pressure washing

We sanded the trailer, the stove metal (love the 70's green!) and the fridge

Yep...that's me sanding and boy were my arms sore the next day!

Miss Ravenna showing the neighbor kids how it is done

She's a natural!

Go Parker go!

That avocado green just didn't want to give up!

40 years of gunk coming off the burners....

Parker loves the trailer dearly...he often begs to wash her!

Yep... still sanding!

Miss Georgia?

She might have been the only sane one among us!

and today my amazing husband put the first coat of paint on Miss Rosie!!!!!!

Looking worlds better already!

More pictures to come soon!

Monday, April 15, 2013

In Light of Tragedy....

My heart is heavy and grieving this afternoon,

and tears are close at hand

as the details of the bombing in Boston unfold.

The Lord has directed me to two things that are anchoring my soul.

One is this article a mother wrote to her child in light of the Connecticut shootings:

http://www.storywarren.com/the-connecticut-shootings-a-letter-to-my-children/

it is beautifully written and well worth the time to read...

the other is the song that I played over and over when my Dad passed away.

Today, in light of what has happened I had Pandora on and this song came on....

it is as true today as it was then.

God NEVER lets go....

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Because....

We are knee deep into sorting and packing,

scrubbing and planning...

and praying like crazy!

It has been interesting,

as I am going about my day and as I hold objects in our house trying to decide if we should keep them or pass them on,

the background of my mind is like a slideshow.

I keep picturing houses.

Homes so full of love

that we have been welcomed into over our lives...

homes in Ecuador,

China,

Mexico,

Romania,

Jamaica,

homes no bigger than our garage and yet bursting with love.

Because a whole lot of the world does not live like we do.

Every time I have been welcomed into a home so seemingly small, I have come away stunned by how much more love I have felt there.

By how beautiful and vibrant the faith of the people is....

Honestly, I am so convicted as I pack and wrestle with getting rid of stuff...

how did I become so tied to these things?

I find myself begging, "Oh Lord, show me more...show me where I am so wrong, show me what I am holding onto that is just not what is best....show me how to find love like those whose faces run through my mind as I think of those houses all over the world."

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Millers on the Move!

Like that title?

One would think that title would mean we are moving to a different town or state or something!

But our hearts have been nudging us to do a moving of a different kind,

one towards more family time,

away from the typical American culture a bit,

to lay our hearts bare and examine what things we might be clinging to a little too tightly...

to reach out and love those around us more,

to be open to those that cross our path,

to really enter in to their story and let it become part of ours.

God has been stirring and hatching a plan in our hearts and minds for awhile now,

we would dust it off, take a look, try it on for size and then say "nah...it's too crazy,"

and put it back on the shelf....

until last week when the plan came off the shelf in a very real way,

and we had a choice to make.

After a lot of prayer and talking we decided

you only live once,

and we didn't want to miss what God was leading us to.

So......drumroll please????

We are officially moving OUT of our house and INTO our trailer for at least the summer.

Yep, our family of five in a 20 ft trailer that we love dearly.

Why?

When we asked that the question that kept echoing was,

Why not?

Why not be deliberate about making our summer about being together, living outdoors, focusing on our relationship as a family?

Why not open our hearts and lives to the people we will encounter and learn and be changed by them?

Why not try living in our tiny trailer and ask God to lay our hearts open to the things that we grasp hold of, cling to, think that we need?

Why not ask to be transformed by living counter culturally and just see what happens?

Why not take a step of faith without a plan on the other end and see where it takes us?

Why not live like we did in Baja (3rd world country)? It is one thing to live so simply when everyone else is living that way, but what about doing it here in our culture of such abundance?

These were the conversations that kept bubbling up in our household over the last month or two...

but we had decided that our rental was a screaming deal and we would be foolish to give it up :)

We need to be grown up and practical after all right?

Then our landlord called and let us know he was going to sell the house we were living in,

we had first dibs and could have made it happen but that conversation officially pulled the plan off the shelf!

We toyed with the idea of buying for a little,

honestly it is a great house in a great neighborhood...

...but our hearts kept saying that was not the way we were supposed to go.

As soon as we decided "no" on the house,

and "yes" on the trailer,

we had a huge peace and excitement!

So, we are pairing down,

packing up,

praying on ton,

sprucing up the trailer (which is a bit of an eyesore at the moment),

and in a few months we are going to take the leap!

We are excited to be challenged, to grow, see and experience God in new ways and to hopefully have those things that encumber us stripped a little further away....

as our little family steps out in this crazy adventure!

If you're up for meeting up for a little camping in the Gorge this summer,

come sit by the fire with us,

tell us your story,

we can't wait to see what God does!

We'll keep you posted on where we will be!

The rockin Miss Rosie soon to have a new look!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Redemption

I witnessed something today that was profoundly beautiful,

my amazing friend,

restraining her equally beautiful little boy.

Holding him down so he would not hurt himself,

telling him she loved him...

after he spit in her face,

knowing that these sessions go on and on for hours on end,

as a precious little boy tries to make sense of the pain and the trauma that has happened in his life,

because now that he has a family, it finally can break the surface and pour out like burning fire

through rage and anger and spitting and biting

as he bucks against the love of a family that is forever no matter what.

...still tonight, hours after being there, the tears come so easily...

yes because of the pain,

but mainly because of the beauty.

Tonight, I am realizing just how much I have allowed myself to cheapen what redemption really means.

Today is Ravenna's Gotcha day.

8 years ago today in a stale, hot room in China I became a Mama for the first time.

It was beyond beautiful,

and yes, I look at those pictures and see them so marked with the fingerprints of the Lord's redemption both in her life and in mine.

But, it is so easy to look at a picture like that and call it redemption...

...and in every sense it was redemption...

but it was only the beginning.

I so often look for redemption in the quick flash...

the abandoned child brought to the orphanage,

the homeless person given a meal,

someone surrendering in prayer,

the apology given...

dare I say, a picture of the cross?

Yes, every single one of those things is redemptive...

but it is only the beginning.

A Gotcha day picture starts a journey that sometimes leads to restraining, and being spit on, and hearing "I hate you", or "I want to go back"

or it means sitting on the floor of my child's room as she sobs in the closet and begs for me, then as I reach close kicks me away.

I means wanting to be safe arms and hating that safe arms sometimes have to hold down instead of hold close.

Because sometimes letting the pain out is part of the path to redemption.

It means hours of sitting in therapy rooms, hospital rooms, counseling offices.

It means watching and entering in to the struggle without having the answers or knowing for sure the outcome.

It means trying one more time when you've got nothing left.

It is my friends who lead a marriage ministry and fight so hard for crumbling marriages,

who step in a listen when words are daggers and pain is so real...

and then go back again and again to help those couples take one more step towards grace.

It is our pastor who gets up almost every week to speak truth and call us to come closer to the One who can heal us, even when we hold so close to the safe and familiar .

...it is the One who promises to never leave, never forsake, always be there over and over and over again as I stumble and fall and bloody my knees...

the One who died on the cross fully knowing I would not understand what that act of redemption did, the journey it began?

That He went fully knowing I would turn my back

or walk away and spit in the face of my Savior, pushing Him back even now when the pain gets too deep...

a journey of drawing near then falling back,

loose ends always dangling.

Yet He still went,

and still stays,

and still reaches,

and still speaks the promise of a love that never leaves,

one that will walk the shattered path of healing if we let Him.

Can you see it?

The beauty?

The relentless holding that cries out to the broken places, making a way for the pain to gush forth?

Bringing with it the space to be redeemed, to truly heal?

The act of redemption stands, stunning....

Am I willing to be led, held down, drawn into the deep ragged journey of redeeming as well?

"...who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."

Psalm 103:4-5

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Catching up! Princess for a day!

Boy does life seem to have a way of flying by!

It has been a LONG time since I have written on here.

Life has been so full and rich,

so much joy,

and a few rough patches :)

Here's some catch up pics...

Back in February Young Life hosted a Father Daughter Dance...

It was an incredible experience for the girls and for Doug.

He was so amazing with them, telling them how beautiful they were, how much he loves and cherishes them.

You could see them just blossoming as they spun and fluffed their skirts for their Daddy!

Even though the dance wasn't until evening, the girls made a full day of it...

Starting with bubbles baths with extra bubbles!

and of course a in home nail salon!

and lots of curling and spraying sparkles in their hair!

and adding a hair clip or two...or twelve!

we had the girls in the neighborhood over so they could get all gussied up too!

Miss Ravenna is quite the fashionista and put together her own outfit which she changed about eight times before the big event, always adding more sparkle and bling!